Sometimes I hate it when I�m right.� No sooner had I got close to the jackal headed guard than he began trying to intimidate me.� First, he tried to catch my eye, to do that ridiculous whoever looks away first loses thing.� There was no good way out of that, so I avoided playing by wiping the rain out of my face.� The guard didn�t like that, but couldn�t really make an issue of it, so he stepped right in front of me forcing me to stop abruptly.� As he leaned towards me, I could small his breath which was as bad as you�re imagining and hear a low growl in his throat.
�Business in Faircrest?� he barked.
There was a small part of me that wanted to reply �Yes, there is�, but I keep that side firmly under wraps.� My amusement would be short lived and the impact on the plan could be huge.
Instead I very politely spun him the cover story of a charitable organisation in Faircrest, ready to give a donation to the All-Church.
The guard cut me off half way through my carefully rehearsed story.� �How do I know that�s true, eh?� he asked aggressively, leaning even further towards me.� �How do I know that you ain�t just a stinking, weasly little criminal on yer way to do harm to the good folk of Faircrest, who don�t want to be bovvered by the likes of you?�
From the corner of my eye I could see the Effren and Nana were already past the other guard who seemed to be taking his duties less seriously than his aggressive companion.� I couldn�t really complain, I thought.� After all, I am a weasly criminal just perhaps not as smelly as my guard was suggesting.
Channelling my inner Father Terry, I told the guard that I was much reassured that he was being so through in his job.� If only, I carried on, everybody had such dedication to their chosen careers, surely the world would be a much better place.
�I don�t wanna hear it,� my tormentor interrupted. �I fink yer dodgy.� Who gives up their time fer the poor?�
Fair point!
Meanwhile the other guard was making a pretence at inspecting the cart.� He clearly didn�t want to put too much effort in, or get too close.
�So, you know �em, then, eh?�
I stopped a curse before it could give me away.� The guard had spotted me looking to see how the others were doing.� Worst case, I thought, as long as they all got through, we still had a shot at the job.